Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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