the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
