just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
