I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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