I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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