we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
It was a blind-side dick pic.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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