Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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