I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
