Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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