He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
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