I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
