Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
