Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
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