Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
