dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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