I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
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