I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
