And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize