just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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