My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Randomize
