what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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