You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
