ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
