The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
