I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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