I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize