just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
