During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
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history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
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Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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