I don't usually arrange sex via text message
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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