Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
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