3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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