Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
