I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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