If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Farmville is her only friend.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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