so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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