I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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