And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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