Banned from zoo.
Again?
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
