K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
