we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
