there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize