Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
