his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
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