Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Randomize
