i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
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