i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
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