Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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