I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
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No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
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Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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