I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
this is an emotional support booty call
we're so committed to being not committed
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
