my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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