Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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