Little spoons don't ask big questions
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize