You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
one two three fourrrrnication!
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
