I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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