I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
