It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
this will be a night to untag.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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