Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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