Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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