I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
