he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
