Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
