Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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