I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
