Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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