umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
When did angry sex become our thing?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
