Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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