Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
