You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
