You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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