Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
