oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
